This song was requested by Leon @ Vodafone via the New Zealand Warriors fan forum on the Vodafone One Tribe website. Thanks for the autographed copy of Steve Price’s book, Be Your Best.

Having the New Zealand Warriors as part of the NRL is a great thing for the growth of rugby league. I hope the powers-that-be consider adding a 2nd New Zealand team when the time comes for the NRL to think about expansion.

If you support the New Zealand Warriors and you haven’t had a look at the Vodafone One Tribe site yet, do yourself a favour and check it out.

One Tribe, One Passion, One Family

Rabbitohs

Everybody watch as the Rabbitohs run away
They’re shakin’ in their boots ’cause they play the Warriors today
The poor little Rabbitohs are never gonna reach their prime
They’re in the wrong place at the wrong time

Everbody laugh as the Rabbitohs run and hide
The Warriors win with power, passion and pride
The Rabbitohs drop as the Warriors start their climb
Rabbits in the wrong place at the wrong time

Oma rapeti, oma rapeti
Oma oma oma

Everybody cheer as the Rabbitohs jump and run
The Warriors quest for domination has begun
The poor little Rabbitohs failed to see the sign
In the wrong place at the wrong time

The Warriors are Panther hunters
So the Panthers better watch their backs
Nothing’s gonna save the Panthers
When a Warrior attacks

The Warriors have set an ambush
Common sense is what a panther lacks
They better run in the other direction
When a Warrior attacks

When the Warriors attack the Panthers start to run
But there’s no escaping now the hunt has begun
Run little pussy cat, run as fast as you can
Cause every Warrior is a Panther hunting man

The Warriors are mighty hunters
Following the Panther’s tracks
It’s vicious and exciting
When a Warrior attacks

I posted this clip to YouTube yesterday morning. It’s a quirky little song I wrote and arranged a couple of days ago to celebrate (in advance) the Warrior’s annihilation of the Cronulla Sharks. Now I just hope it happens! Anyway, even if the Warriors lose (I’m sure they won’t) the clip will be relevant one day……and when that day arrives I will be a happy rugby league fan!

Sharks

Are you ready for a feeding frenzy?
The Warriors hunt in a group
They’re going out into the ocean
And coming back with shark fin soup!

The Warriors are hungry for victory
There’s a rumble in every tummy
These sharks are nothing to be afraid of
They’re harmless and they’re gummy

Gummy Sharks don’t scare anyone
Gummy Sharks are soup in my dish
Gummy Sharks the shame of the ocean
Gummy Sharks are more like goldfish

Are you ready for a feeding frenzy?
The sharks are swimming for their lives
The Warriors are right behind them
Sharpening their carving knives

Gummy Sharks don’t scare anyone
Gummy Sharks are soup in my dish
Gummy Sharks the shame of the ocean
Gummy Sharks are more like goldfish
Gummy Sharks the Warriors want you
Gummy Sharks the Warriors beat you
Gummy Sharks the Warriors catch you
Gummy Sharks the Warriors eat you

The Warriors returned to the winner’s list last weekend with an emphatic win over the toothless Wests Tigers. I forgot to make this post with my new video sooner. It was featured on the official Warriors website prior to the game. Thanks for that guys!! Thanks to the Warriors players too….for delivering a performance to brighten the supporters hopes. Great stuff!

Tigers

When the Tigers run on to the field
They should bring a weapon and maybe a shield
‘Cause the Warriors are ready for war
And the toothless tigers will never ever roar

When the Tigers prepare for the game
They should also prepare for the heartache and shame
‘Cause the Warriors are ready right now
And the toothless tigers will purr and meow

The Warriors are big athletic acrobats
The Tigers are cute and cuddly pet pussy cats
A Warrior can’t be bitten
By a tiny, little insignificant kitten
We will be congratulated
They will be domesticated

Before the Tigers arrive at the ground
They should make reservations down at the pound
‘Cause the Warriors are ready to leap
It’s time for the Tigers to be put to sleep

…it was just lucky no one was killed…and now for sport…

The world’s best rugby league player is set to turn his back on the game. Sources close to the Brisbane Broncos have revealed Darren Lockyer’s desire to make a name for himself in the world of fashion. He hopes to release a range of muppet related pyjamas in time for Christmas 2009.

02 Paul Gallon Opens Hair Dressing Salon

…unfortunately the only witness was a dog…and now for sport…

Paul Gallon insists he hasn’t gone soft. The Cronulla Sharks hard man has convinced his club to allow him to open his own hair dressing salon. When asked if he preferred styling lady’s hair to playing rugby league he giggled and held his hand over his mouth. He’s so bashful!

03 Scott Prince Takes Pictures Of Donkeys

…he ended up falling to his death anyway…and now for sport…

Everyone knows what a great rugby league player Scott Prince is but there’s so much more to the Titans halfback than meets the eye. During the off-season he left his home on the Gold Coast and toured the world taking pictures of donkeys. He now has over 4 billion photos in his personal collection.

04 Billy Slater Fights Off Giant Spider

…and luckily only a few old people were injured…and now for sport…

Billy Slater, the mercurial fullback from the Melbourne Storm, has been hailed a hero today. The Australian fullback was on hand to save a pack of old ladies from a giant spider. The mutant arachnid, standing over 2 metres tall, had escaped from a nearby amusement park. Mr Slater killed the creature by stabbing it repeatedly with a toothpick.

05 Steve Price Gains Karate Black Belt

…and then she shot him 3 times in the neck…and now for sport…

After years of trying Steve Price has finally earned his karate black belt. The New Zealand Warriors star has been waxing on and off in the privacy of his own home for over a decade and a half. When asked how he felt about his achievement, Mr Price said, “No, it’s good. It’s more of a relief than anything else.”

06 Petero Civoniceva Attacks Burglar With Spoon

…maybe he’ll think twice before eating rubber again…and now for sport…

All Petero Civoniceva wanted was a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately, a local burglar had other ideas. The Penrith Panthers captain was disturbed in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen to investigate. He managed to apprehend the culprit, beating him about the head and shoulders with a Chinese soup spoon.

07 Jamie Soward Goes Fishing For Squid

…she’ll be eligible for parole in January 2075…and now for sport…

Jamie Soward is best known for his abilities on a rugby league field and his unusual goal kicking rituals. In his spare time, the StGeorge Illawarra player enjoys fishing for squid. He doesn’t eat them though. He uses the ink to refill his extensive collection of European fountain pens.

08 Johnathan Thurston Writes Best Selling Novel

…she didn’t realise the gun was loaded…and now for sport…

Johnathan Thurston has astounded literary critics around the world by penning a volume worthy of a Pulitzer Prize. The freakish halfback from the North Queensland Cowboys based all of the characters in the book on other NRL stars. The lead character, Mrs Loopington, was inspired by Peter Sterling.

09 Brett Kimmorley Plays Accordion At Wedding

…only 3 of the wedding guests survived…and now for sport…

Guests at a recent wedding were entertained by an impromptu performance by Brett Kimmorley. Known more for his cut out passes on a rugby league field, Mr Kimmorley wowed the crowd with a virtuoso performance on the squeeze box. The Canterbury Bulldogs player smiled and danced a little jig while his fingers moved across the keyboard in a fantastic blur.

10 Alan Tongue Accidentally Swallows Chop Sticks

…and then the bridge collapsed and all hell broke loose…and now for sport…

The Canberra Raiders rugby league team celebrated a recent victory at a local sushi bar in the nation’s capital. At some point during the night, Captain Alan Tongue managed to sneeze and swallow a pair of chop sticks. Doctors say nothing can be done until nature takes its course. “I just hope they don’t come out sideways,” Mr Tongue said.

11 Matt Orford Secures World Blinking Record

…his fingertips will now be surgically removed…and now for sport…

Astounded onlookers had to resort to pinching one another to prove they weren’t dreaming today. They witnessed Matt Orford’s successful attempt to break the world blinking record. The Manly Sea Eagle’s linchpin managed to open and close his eyes over 3000 times in one minute. Amazing!

12 Jarrod Mullen Dances For World Peace

…and the boat capsized just before the volcano erupted…and now for sport…

Newcastle Knights rising star Jarrod Mullen has been dancing for over 72 hours. In a letter to a popular Australian women’s magazine, Mr Mullen said he would not stop dancing until war was a distant memory. He already has a blister on his left ankle the size of a small rhinoceros.

13 Nathan Hindmarsh Lip Syncs Pop Songs

…the police reunited the man with his skin 3 weeks later…and now for sport…

Parramatta Eels living legend, Nathan Hindmarsh was lost for words this morning. It was revealed, the man-mountain, tackling machine likes to spend his spare time standing in front of the bathroom mirror miming the words to his favourite pop songs. Mr Hindmarsh refused to comment.

14 Roy Asotasi Burns Rubbish At Fete

…he said it was very rare for anyone to find body parts in cereal boxes…and now for sport…

A South Sydney Rabbitohs player fronted court today charged with starting a fire without a permit. Roy Asotasi attended a fete at a local primary school and had just eaten more than a dozen chocolate crackles when all hell broke loose. A teacher called police after noticing Mr Asotasi raking up rubbish and throwing a match in its general direction.

15 Craig Fitzgibbon Hides Neighbour’s Lotto Winnings

…and smoke from the fire is visible from Mars…and now for sport…

Sydney Rooster’s prankster Craig Fitzgibbon may have gone too far yesterday. The ultra-competitive rugby league star is known for his outlandish sense of humour and zany shenanigans. His next door neighbours have accused the bald clown of hiding their lotto winnings. Mr Fitzgibbon was unavailable for comment today.

16 Benji Marshall Denies Having Botox Injections

…and that’s why more and more babies are being born with facial hair…and now for sport…

Rugby league commentators have long believed Benji Marshalls youthful looks were due to his age. People close to the Wests Tigers and Kiwi’s champion are appalled at rumours suggesting he has lost the ability to frown due to overusing botox. Mr Marshall claims he’s just happy all the time.

This is the long awaited video for my song about the Canberra Raiders. Unfortunately, for New Zealand Warriors supporters, the score line ended up with the big numbers on the wrong side. I’m afraid this song will not be valid until the Warriors meet the Raiders in their next encounter. The green machine won’t have it so easy next time.

The Warriors played quite poorly, by their own admissions, and let the Raiders dish out a rugby league lesson of mammoth proportions. The Auckland based juggernaut will need to start winning some games and produce more consistent football in order to give the NRL competition a shake in 2009!

Raiders

I almost feel sorry for the raiders
As the Warriors beat them again
The green machine doesn’t look so mean
They are boys in the shadows of men

I almost shed a tear for the Raiders
As the Warriors pound them to dust
They’ll beg for less and they won’t impress
The green machine’s starting to rust

The Raiders will march to the slaughter
Into the blood-thirsty jaws of defeat
The Raiders are no match for Warriors
They’ll give up the ghost and retreat

I almost give a damn about the Raiders
As their lifeless bodies collapse
The green machine is a distant dream
Lightning strikes! Thunder claps!

I really think this song will be enjoyed as much by Cowboys supporters as it will be by New Zealand Warriors fans. Rugby league followers in North Queensland are amongst the most realistic, grounded individuals on the planet. They are more likely to realise and accept the superiority the Warriors have over their team than supporters of most other NRL clubs would.

The New Zealand Warriors have had a bit of a stop start beginning to their premiership campaign but I’m confident they will get more consistent over the coming weeks. I reckon they’ll win all five of their games between the byes and pick up the maximum 14 points on offer. After that they should be just about cemented in the 8 and will be able to concentrate on getting into the top 4.

Blood In The Saddle

The Warriors supporters make lots of noise
The intimidation factor frightens the Cowboys
They wanna run away but there’s nowhere to go
It’s safer ridin’ angry bulls at the rodeo

The Warriors supporters know about the joys
Of watching the Warriors smashing the Cowboys
The Warriors are perfect, the Cowboys are strange
Send ‘em back home, home on the range

See the Cowboys ride into the setting sun
With their tails between their legs ’cause the Warriors won
If you send boys to do the work of men
Well, you get blood in the saddle again, and again

The Warriors are men, they don’t play with toys
They leave that to little kids and the Cowboys
Victory is sweet and not soon forgot
The Warriors are champs, the Cowboys are shot

I purchased a band from the Sonny Fai Wristband Appeal and it arrived during the flood clean up. I wanted to write a piece of music inspired by the life and power of Sonny Fai. I wore the wristband during the whole process, from writing and arranging through to performing and recording. Rugby league fans, and fans of the New Zealand Warriors especially, will remember Sonny’s short but ultra-positive contribution for many years to come. Don’t give up!

God help the Broncos

The Warriors are fast and hard
And they would never drop their guard
And should it ever come to blows
God help the Broncos

The Warriors are fierce and tough
Surrender’s never good enough
No mercy for their foes
God help the Broncos

The Warriors will round ‘em up
And break their spirits down
A Bronco with no spirit
Is like a pony on a merry-go-round

The Warriors are on a mission
And nothing’s gonna stand in their way
As blood from the wounded flows
God help the Broncos